Valentine's Day: Why I no longer think it's total bollocks
Updated: May 7
I remember Valentine's Day in the early stages of a relationship being the best thing ever. A day to shag (even more) like rabbits, have a posh meal out and just generally revel in how in love (or lust) you are. In previous relationships, however, and call me cynical, but the more Valentine's days I've had with someone, the more they felt like a load of old bollocks, frankly. Like, why do you need a specific day to show someone how much they mean to you, and why does how much you spend or the size of the gesture seemingly equal how much you love someone?
However since being with Eamo I've a new found appreciation for this particular day, and I'll tell you for why. The truth is relationships require time and effort to, being totally blunt, not die on their ass. And that's true regardless of whether you have kids or not. But throw a tiny human who demands your attention all the live long day into the equation, and our relationship often ends up at the bottom of the priority pile. So Valentine's Day for me, is a nice little reminder to consider us as a couple, rather than just 'Mummy and Daddy' (ok, that reads weird, but you know what I mean).
Both Eamo and I take each other for granted. I know he won't mind me saying that as we admit to each other often. We get caught up in the stresses, responsibilities and demands of every day life – kids, work, money etc – that we both neglect to look after 'us'. And lockdown hasn't helped. Not only can we not really go anywhere anyway, we also can't ask anyone to babysit, so the only time we get alone is after Rex goes to bed, by which time we're both so knackered we do incredible impressions of zombies for half hour before following suit.
This year my appreciation manifested itself by throwing a load of his favourite M&S food in the oven, buying him a card and being nice to him for possibly a whole 3 minutes longer than I might have been otherwise (guys, I'm eight months pregnant and a raging mass of mostly angry emotion, I can't work miracles right now – it's the thought that counts though, right?). Eamo excelled himself this year, not with the flowers, card and beautiful baby changing bag he got me (which were, of course, lovely), but by getting home early from work, which meant a good hour to myself to have a hot bath and a nap yesterday afternoon.
To be fair, this year hasn't been that different from most other Valentine's we've spent together, Eamo and I have never been a bells and whistles kind of couple. But if lockdown has taught me anything, it's to fully appreciate love in all it's forms – time for a hot soak, cuddles with your kids, calls with family and friends – because that is what ultimately gets me through each day.